I can eat fire, lay on a bed of nails, hang and spin by my braided hair

I can recite the charm of making from EXCALIBUR

I’m an enthusiastic but not-that-great fencer

I can knit, crochet, and macrame

I can crack a whip and hit targets (or unruly audience members, whatever is called for)

I can bake, from scratch, the best cake you have ever had in your life

I read voraciously, and I can always recommend the perfect book